I'm surprised that presidential candidates don't gain a lot of weight while they're on the campaign trail. Do any of them have time to go to the gym during the day? It seems like their days are pretty full with stump speeches, planning, plotting, and lots of conference calls to reporters to yell about their opponents.

What about all that time they spend on planes? I don't know about the rest of you, but I find nothing makes me feel all bound-up and puffy like a long plane ride. It has to do with all the air-pressure. Similarly, road trips also make me feel like I could use a week or so of clean living after I'm done with them. Where is there to eat when you're on the road? Nowhere, except for Welcome Centers and junk-food restaurants. I remember a road trip to the SPACE convention in Ohio one year, where we ate at MacDonald's, Burger King, and a fast-food rib place called "RAXXX" all in one day. There were no other options.

You'd think that when we look back at the first debates from eight months ago that the candidates would all look about ten pounds lighter then they do now, but it doesn't seem to be the case. Somehow they seem to keep it together.